Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Let's See What People Think...

I'm running a little poll till the end of September. I have it posted at the top of my page. You get to decide on the theme of my blog. I like to change it up and keep it fresh, but I struggle with a dark or light themed page.

I'm running this poll to keep you (the readers) interested and coming back to check on the results. I also intend to use the results to determine the actual theme color scheme. (which means I really will consider the final pol results)  So, please take a look at the page and vote for what you really want to see here.

As always, move forward everyday like time... looking back will just slow you down.  ~ Mark

Back To College

So, It's that time of year again... The Halls of Knowledge have once again, opened their doors and are cordially inviting you in for another year of academia. That's Great!

You settled into your dorm room and hung a really cool vintage DEVO poster on your wall. Everything is going pretty smoothly or is it? The first day of classes will be challenging. Let's take a quick look at your schedule and see if anything needs to be modified.

  • 8:10am - 9:00am - Psychology 100 (3 credits)
    • Professor Jeremiah Kline: PhD, UandMe, LSD, ABC 
    • This course will focus on the complex thought processes associated with extended television viewing and heavy use of alcohol, drugs and sleep deprivation. (not recommend for Nerds)
  •  9:10am - 10:00am - World History 101 (3 credits)
    • Professor Minnie Skirts: AA, PlugNPlay, THC
    • A comprehensive history course with emphasis on where people originated, with a specific focus on the 'Men are from Mars' and 'Women are from Venus' Theories.
  •  10:10am - 11:00am - Algebra 200 :by candlelight (3 credits)
    • Professor Herman Isaloosa: PhD, 513, RNC
    • The fundamentals of Algebra taught by candlelight, in a casual setting to allow expansion of thinking. (Requirements: Candle, Matches or Lighter, Calculator with Light Up Screen)
  •  11:10am - 12:00noon - Biology 101 (3 credits)
    • Professor Kinda Lazy: AARP, GNC, 243
    • This accelerated course will focus on the dissection of frogs, hamburgers, extra crunchy corn dogs and the vinyl seat covers of an old Chevy pickup truck. (this course is only recommended if you have a strong stomach and your own set of auto mechanic tools)
So, after reviewing your class listings for the first semester, I recommended that you stay up extra late each night, drink lots of beer and eat nothing but Hot Pockets and Cheetos! This shouldn't be too difficult and if it turns out bad... you always have next semester to make things up.

Have fun and good luck in College!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

5 Things Dogs Do At Night While You Sleep!

Here is a list of the 5 crazy things that dogs have admitted to doing at night, while their owners sleep peacefully in their beds.

  1. A Dachshund named Pierre admitted that he likes to rearrange the kitchen cupboards and vacuum the curtains at night. He also confessed that once, he rented a Rug Doctor and steam cleaned the carpeting in his owners Mercedes Benz. (Pierre is currently in therapy for a stress and anxiety disorder)
  2. A very lovely Schnauzer named Vigo has confessed that he drinks from the toilet, eats from the garbage can and also licks under the refrigerator at night. He also went on to say that he regrets his compulsive behaviors and 'I don't care' attitude, but he refuses to change his lifestyle.
  3. Buddy, the Airedoodle Terrier loves to cook. He has prepared several delicious meals under the cover of darkness. He loves Italian cuisine, and his specialty is Crab and Ricotta Cannelloni. He also makes a garlic bread to die for... Buddy's owner has never figured out where all the food comes from, but he does enjoy the mystery meals, just the same. - Bon Appetite!
  4. A sweetie pie Lhasa Apso named Shirley loves waking up just after 2am and watching infomercials. She loves all the hype and glamour of the products. She confesses that her favorite infomercial star is Vince Shlomi, who sells the Slap-Chop! Shirley dreams of, one day meeting Vince for a cup of coffee, a dry biscuit and a little friendly 'Slap-Chop' chopping competition. (Shirley did get caught one time by her owner, but she peed on the rug to distract him, while she quickly hit the 'Off' button on the TV remote.)
  5. Cindy, the fluffy Sheltie admits that she loves getting into classic novels by candlelight. She has completed over 72 novels during the past 9 years. She says that she has no idea how to read or even how to light a candle, but she loves the taste of old paper and ink. Cindy has recently joined a book of the month club, and is awaiting her first shipment of romance novels. ~ Yum!
I hope you enjoyed reading these canine confessions and would like to thank and congratulate these dogs of admirable character and bravery for being able to communicate their issues.

I am currently interviewing additional dogs that have come forward to spill the beans on their late night habits, and will report my findings in the coming months.